Today a great life lesson was learned. When everyone gets consumed in to the little details and stressors of everyday life, we tend to take things for granted. What I experienced today made me realize how much I take for granted and how precious life really is and how important loved ones are. Here is my story.....
Today I had this woman patient walk in to my office. She was here for her 6 month routine check-up and cleaning. She is an existing patient that I have gotten to know now for the past 4 years. She is a little older than me and has married her best friend and has a little 5 year old girl. I am slightly envious of her cute, sassy style and personality. And hope to one day be similar to her in having a family out in the burbs but still the "cool mom".
She walks in and I ask, "How have you been? Any exciting things going on?". I thought she was going to tell me about her fun vacation plans to sea world like in the past. But she pauses and says, "Well, nothing exciting really. My husband died a month or so ago." This news really caught me off guard. I definitely didn't expect that response to my question. And when she said it, she sounded really strong and reserved about her response. I really felt for her like she was one of my friends, maybe because I envied her so much. I explained how sorry I was to hear about that and tried my best to comfort her as much as I could. I mentioned a book that a friend had told me about when a family member was battling cancer. A book called The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It is about a man dealing with cancer and preparing his family for his death. I don't know if it would help her or maybe she can relate to the book because of what she went through and is going through. And as I am telling her this my eyes became heavy and watered up. She saw me and started to get teary eyed too! I grabbed a tissue to give to her and said, "I may need one of those too".
It really made me think about how I have taken so many things in life for granted. The food that I eat, my apartment, my family....everything! More importantly how life's too short to treat someone mean, rude or unfriendly, because they could be gone tomorrow. My dad has been through the battle of cancer and looking back, I took it for granted. I just expected him to just get though the surgery, everything will be fine and he will be back to being my dad in no time. Also, I remember thinking, my dad is my rock, he will get through this, he has to live forever!
Now, I feel so foolish for thinking that, because anything could have happened. And I should appreciate my parents a lot more than I do. So, I encourage you, if you haven't already, to read the book. It's well worth the read!
Rhinestone Cowgirl
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Forgiveness: what does it mean?
So I know it has been awhile since I have last blogged. I apologize for going on a sort of "hiatus". A lot has been going on in my professional life, and my personal life has been on the back burner. I have been in the processes of making a big decision in my work place. It was not an easy decision, but for the best for my sanity. Along with my big decision to make a change at work, I have decided to make a decision to move. So, before too long, my life will be totally different. I hope that this will be for the better.
Part of making such a big change in my life, some may say that it is letting go of the past and leaving it behind. I don't want to lose my sense of self and who I am, but hopefully I will improve myself.
Which brings up the topic of forgiveness. See, like most single girls, I have been hurt or wronged by an ex. I hope that its true that you have to have "loved and lost" to really truely love someone else. And they say that you must forgive and forget to move on and not be bitter. I feel that I am bitter and wounded by broken trust in a relationship. I don't want to always be bitter and wounded, so does this mean that I must forgive my ex to move on?
It's not like its a friend who forgot your birthday, or a sister that gave you tough love. These relationships are easy to forgive and forget and continue to be friends. And with family your love is unconditional. I don't think twice about forgiving my Sister, Mom or Dad, because I already have before they even do anything. But when you have a certain level of intimacy with the opposite sex and you put your trust in him, when that trust is broken, I find it difficult to forgive.
So what is the definition of forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean forgetting? Or moving on with your life. Does it mean accepting it for what it is? And then what? Because I don't want this person back in my life. We can no longer be friends. I am not accepting what he did wrong when he broke that trust. Therefore, I don't think I can forgive him nor, can I ever forget. Does this mean that I will be bitter forever?
I hope that I don't hold a grudge and have a "chip on my shoulder". I want to be in a relationship where I can trust them and be happy. I know it will be hard.
This reminds me of my favorite artist, Adele's song "Take It All":
Didn't I give it all, tried my best. Gave you everything I had, everything and no less. Didn't I do it right, to let you down. Maybe you got too used to having me around. Still how can you walk away from all my tears. It's going to be an empty road without you right here. But go on and take it, take it all with you. Don't look back at this crumbling fool. Just take it all with my love.
I think that forgiveness is subjective. It depends on who you are forgiving and what you are forgiving them for. I know that when I was in my "on again, off again", unhealthy relationship that I tested my friendships. I put my friends in a position that they had to accept my ex because I did, even when they didn't want to. And they could have chosen to not be my friend, but they didn't. I know they forgave me and we are still great friends. And I love them for that! But I don't think I am going to forgive my ex, and if I ever do, I will be the only one who will know because he doesn't need to know. It will be something I will keep to myself......
Part of making such a big change in my life, some may say that it is letting go of the past and leaving it behind. I don't want to lose my sense of self and who I am, but hopefully I will improve myself.
Which brings up the topic of forgiveness. See, like most single girls, I have been hurt or wronged by an ex. I hope that its true that you have to have "loved and lost" to really truely love someone else. And they say that you must forgive and forget to move on and not be bitter. I feel that I am bitter and wounded by broken trust in a relationship. I don't want to always be bitter and wounded, so does this mean that I must forgive my ex to move on?
It's not like its a friend who forgot your birthday, or a sister that gave you tough love. These relationships are easy to forgive and forget and continue to be friends. And with family your love is unconditional. I don't think twice about forgiving my Sister, Mom or Dad, because I already have before they even do anything. But when you have a certain level of intimacy with the opposite sex and you put your trust in him, when that trust is broken, I find it difficult to forgive.
So what is the definition of forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean forgetting? Or moving on with your life. Does it mean accepting it for what it is? And then what? Because I don't want this person back in my life. We can no longer be friends. I am not accepting what he did wrong when he broke that trust. Therefore, I don't think I can forgive him nor, can I ever forget. Does this mean that I will be bitter forever?
I hope that I don't hold a grudge and have a "chip on my shoulder". I want to be in a relationship where I can trust them and be happy. I know it will be hard.
This reminds me of my favorite artist, Adele's song "Take It All":
Didn't I give it all, tried my best. Gave you everything I had, everything and no less. Didn't I do it right, to let you down. Maybe you got too used to having me around. Still how can you walk away from all my tears. It's going to be an empty road without you right here. But go on and take it, take it all with you. Don't look back at this crumbling fool. Just take it all with my love.
I think that forgiveness is subjective. It depends on who you are forgiving and what you are forgiving them for. I know that when I was in my "on again, off again", unhealthy relationship that I tested my friendships. I put my friends in a position that they had to accept my ex because I did, even when they didn't want to. And they could have chosen to not be my friend, but they didn't. I know they forgave me and we are still great friends. And I love them for that! But I don't think I am going to forgive my ex, and if I ever do, I will be the only one who will know because he doesn't need to know. It will be something I will keep to myself......
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Bitter End
Today was not the best day in my single girls life. I feel as if I must stick to my 30 things to do by 30 so I don't do stupid things that I shouldn't just because I am bored. I must keep up with the task at hand. Keeping busy, being social, and having fun. So because it was such a bad day, I called a girlfriend, we went to the new hot spot in Dallas to have a drink to feel invigorated. We happen to sit next to two guys in business attire. We look over, make eye contact, and continue on our conversation about our day. We talk about gossip, and then somehow strike up a conversation with 'the guys next door". We will call them "white and stripes" because of the button down shirts they were wearing. Whites and stripes start taking to us saying, "I know you have been ease dropping on our conversation the whole time. I have been listening and watching you talking about our conversation". My friend and I look at each other, not sure what he is talking about, but it is somewhat true but we really tried to listen, just wasn't interested in what they were talking about. We did talk how they were cute and why we need to come down there more often to check out the cute boys. So to be honest, he was not far from the truth. We started talking about what we do, he mentions he has a girlfriend(boo) and he says, "I bet you blog about us tonight". Little does he know, yes I will blog about white and stripes and he is now technically famous. He goes on to make an observation that I am bitter. Dagger to the heart, he said it, and to be honest, I think he is right. I, Rhinestone Cowgirl, am bitter...but just a little bit. Ok, a lot. It really hit home for me, because this is not the first time in the past few months that a guy has said that. So here I am, bitter. How am I ever going to find Mr. Right if I am bitter? So, today, I vow, to work on my non-bitterness. And to be much more open and excited when talking to the opposite sex.
Here is a quote a friend shared with me:
Sometimes it's okay to want to refresh your mind. Delete all your problems, undo all your mistakes and save all the happy moments.
I need to let go of the past relationships and hopefully Mr. Right will be right around the corner. If not, he will keep passing me by because I was bitter. :(
Here is a quote a friend shared with me:
Sometimes it's okay to want to refresh your mind. Delete all your problems, undo all your mistakes and save all the happy moments.
I need to let go of the past relationships and hopefully Mr. Right will be right around the corner. If not, he will keep passing me by because I was bitter. :(
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
A Trip Down Memory Lane
So every single girl in her twenties gets dumped. It happens. But today I get a call from my dear friend. The first thing she says is, "I got dumped!" This happens all too often in a single girls life so I was there, ready to pick her up to go have a drink. It's my duty as a single friend to help a girl out in time of need. We go to the bar and we decided that we need to make a bucket list. Thirty things by thirty. I encourage everyone in their twenties to do the same. I for one, want to take that trip I never took to Europe, and do things like take a cooking class or start my own small business on the side. I mean, being a dental hygienist is not going to make me a millionaire (as the song by Bruno Mars plays in my head, "I wanna be a millionaire so freakin' bad).
As my friend tells me about how it feels to get dumped and start back at square one. It took me back to memory lane when I was dumped. The story goes something like this:
I dragged my friend to the bar with me. I remember it not being very packed. We went straight to the bar, sat down, and ordered a drink. I noticed a cute business guy sitting a few stools down from us. He was smoking a cigarette, not my ideal type. Did I mention I am a dental hygienist? I then proceeded to say something to my girlfriend that was somewhat slutty like, "I don't care what happens tonight, I just need to have a good time." Not realizing that the guy down the way heard me. Slowly, he came and sat right next to me, introduced himself and started to strike up a conversation. I mean really, it was that easy. We proceeded to get to know each other. I then told my girlfriend, I needed a picture with this guy so I can send it to my ex to make him jealous. We got together really close, snapped a picture on my iphone and sent it to my ex. How lame is that? It gets worse... I then decide that its time to go. The guy says he is in town for work and is staying at a hotel down the street. He then tells me that he took a cab to the bar and then asked if he could get a ride back to his hotel. I, being the naive person that I am say sure, my girlfriend drove and she can drop you by. My friend now put out, says, "Whatever". We leave, guy in tow. My girlfriend says out loud in the car ride to his hotel, "You guys should at least make out!" I thought to myself, "Smoker???? No, I don't want to, really". But as peer pressure sets in, I lean over from the front seat to the back and before I knew it I was making out with the guy in friends car as she drives up to the entrance of his hotel. I let him out, and say goodbye. He is probably thinking to himself that I am a sure thing, remembering my slutty comment at the beginning of the night. But unfortunately, he was disappointed when I got back in my friends car and drove away. As we drive away I say to my friend, "Thanks for saying out loud to make out with that guy!" She says, "Well, you made me take him home, you might as well have made out with the guy."
I reminded my friend of this story as we sit at the bar and she shares her sorrows of her getting dumped. We laugh as we reminisce of that crazy night and I try to make her smile as I relate to her situation. All of a sudden, we both realize, it happens, it's a part of a single girls life. And it somehow makes getting dumped not seem so bad. And I am now excited to start on knocking down my bucket list.
Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breath more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours!
- Rhinestone Cowgirl
As my friend tells me about how it feels to get dumped and start back at square one. It took me back to memory lane when I was dumped. The story goes something like this:
I dragged my friend to the bar with me. I remember it not being very packed. We went straight to the bar, sat down, and ordered a drink. I noticed a cute business guy sitting a few stools down from us. He was smoking a cigarette, not my ideal type. Did I mention I am a dental hygienist? I then proceeded to say something to my girlfriend that was somewhat slutty like, "I don't care what happens tonight, I just need to have a good time." Not realizing that the guy down the way heard me. Slowly, he came and sat right next to me, introduced himself and started to strike up a conversation. I mean really, it was that easy. We proceeded to get to know each other. I then told my girlfriend, I needed a picture with this guy so I can send it to my ex to make him jealous. We got together really close, snapped a picture on my iphone and sent it to my ex. How lame is that? It gets worse... I then decide that its time to go. The guy says he is in town for work and is staying at a hotel down the street. He then tells me that he took a cab to the bar and then asked if he could get a ride back to his hotel. I, being the naive person that I am say sure, my girlfriend drove and she can drop you by. My friend now put out, says, "Whatever". We leave, guy in tow. My girlfriend says out loud in the car ride to his hotel, "You guys should at least make out!" I thought to myself, "Smoker???? No, I don't want to, really". But as peer pressure sets in, I lean over from the front seat to the back and before I knew it I was making out with the guy in friends car as she drives up to the entrance of his hotel. I let him out, and say goodbye. He is probably thinking to himself that I am a sure thing, remembering my slutty comment at the beginning of the night. But unfortunately, he was disappointed when I got back in my friends car and drove away. As we drive away I say to my friend, "Thanks for saying out loud to make out with that guy!" She says, "Well, you made me take him home, you might as well have made out with the guy."
I reminded my friend of this story as we sit at the bar and she shares her sorrows of her getting dumped. We laugh as we reminisce of that crazy night and I try to make her smile as I relate to her situation. All of a sudden, we both realize, it happens, it's a part of a single girls life. And it somehow makes getting dumped not seem so bad. And I am now excited to start on knocking down my bucket list.
Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breath more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours!
- Rhinestone Cowgirl
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust....
My great friend just got married this weekend. Although I am happy for her and excited that she has found the perfect person for her, but I am now the last girl of my high school friends to find love. The sad part is, I am not even currently dating anyone at the moment, and no prospects. But I still have faith that I will find Mr. Right when the time is right. I now get questions from my friends after weddings asking, "So did you meet Mr. Right at the wedding you went to last night?". Or friends asking at the wedding, "Hey I have this guy friend who is single, would you be interested?". As if that is a dagger to the heart that now all my friends feel sorry for me and feel it their duty to play matchmaker for their one and only single girlfriend. Not that I hate that my friends are trying to help a girl out because, what better way to meet a guy than through your friends!
- Rhinestone Cowgirl
My great friend just got married this weekend. Although I am happy for her and excited that she has found the perfect person for her, but I am now the last girl of my high school friends to find love. The sad part is, I am not even currently dating anyone at the moment, and no prospects. But I still have faith that I will find Mr. Right when the time is right. I now get questions from my friends after weddings asking, "So did you meet Mr. Right at the wedding you went to last night?". Or friends asking at the wedding, "Hey I have this guy friend who is single, would you be interested?". As if that is a dagger to the heart that now all my friends feel sorry for me and feel it their duty to play matchmaker for their one and only single girlfriend. Not that I hate that my friends are trying to help a girl out because, what better way to meet a guy than through your friends!
- Rhinestone Cowgirl
Get Ready cuz here I come
Get ready cuz here I come! After much request from friends and family to start my blog, here it is. I am 29 and Single and livin' Sassy in Dallas. This is my most inner thoughts, trials and tribulations that I and ideally, what other girls my age are going through. I welcome you to follow me, and tell your friends. This is in hopes to inspire others, or to just be the topic of conversation over morning coffee or late night drinks!
Rhinestone Cowgirl
Rhinestone Cowgirl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)