Today a great life lesson was learned. When everyone gets consumed in to the little details and stressors of everyday life, we tend to take things for granted. What I experienced today made me realize how much I take for granted and how precious life really is and how important loved ones are. Here is my story.....
Today I had this woman patient walk in to my office. She was here for her 6 month routine check-up and cleaning. She is an existing patient that I have gotten to know now for the past 4 years. She is a little older than me and has married her best friend and has a little 5 year old girl. I am slightly envious of her cute, sassy style and personality. And hope to one day be similar to her in having a family out in the burbs but still the "cool mom".
She walks in and I ask, "How have you been? Any exciting things going on?". I thought she was going to tell me about her fun vacation plans to sea world like in the past. But she pauses and says, "Well, nothing exciting really. My husband died a month or so ago." This news really caught me off guard. I definitely didn't expect that response to my question. And when she said it, she sounded really strong and reserved about her response. I really felt for her like she was one of my friends, maybe because I envied her so much. I explained how sorry I was to hear about that and tried my best to comfort her as much as I could. I mentioned a book that a friend had told me about when a family member was battling cancer. A book called The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It is about a man dealing with cancer and preparing his family for his death. I don't know if it would help her or maybe she can relate to the book because of what she went through and is going through. And as I am telling her this my eyes became heavy and watered up. She saw me and started to get teary eyed too! I grabbed a tissue to give to her and said, "I may need one of those too".
It really made me think about how I have taken so many things in life for granted. The food that I eat, my apartment, my family....everything! More importantly how life's too short to treat someone mean, rude or unfriendly, because they could be gone tomorrow. My dad has been through the battle of cancer and looking back, I took it for granted. I just expected him to just get though the surgery, everything will be fine and he will be back to being my dad in no time. Also, I remember thinking, my dad is my rock, he will get through this, he has to live forever!
Now, I feel so foolish for thinking that, because anything could have happened. And I should appreciate my parents a lot more than I do. So, I encourage you, if you haven't already, to read the book. It's well worth the read!
Rhinestone Cowgirl
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Forgiveness: what does it mean?
So I know it has been awhile since I have last blogged. I apologize for going on a sort of "hiatus". A lot has been going on in my professional life, and my personal life has been on the back burner. I have been in the processes of making a big decision in my work place. It was not an easy decision, but for the best for my sanity. Along with my big decision to make a change at work, I have decided to make a decision to move. So, before too long, my life will be totally different. I hope that this will be for the better.
Part of making such a big change in my life, some may say that it is letting go of the past and leaving it behind. I don't want to lose my sense of self and who I am, but hopefully I will improve myself.
Which brings up the topic of forgiveness. See, like most single girls, I have been hurt or wronged by an ex. I hope that its true that you have to have "loved and lost" to really truely love someone else. And they say that you must forgive and forget to move on and not be bitter. I feel that I am bitter and wounded by broken trust in a relationship. I don't want to always be bitter and wounded, so does this mean that I must forgive my ex to move on?
It's not like its a friend who forgot your birthday, or a sister that gave you tough love. These relationships are easy to forgive and forget and continue to be friends. And with family your love is unconditional. I don't think twice about forgiving my Sister, Mom or Dad, because I already have before they even do anything. But when you have a certain level of intimacy with the opposite sex and you put your trust in him, when that trust is broken, I find it difficult to forgive.
So what is the definition of forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean forgetting? Or moving on with your life. Does it mean accepting it for what it is? And then what? Because I don't want this person back in my life. We can no longer be friends. I am not accepting what he did wrong when he broke that trust. Therefore, I don't think I can forgive him nor, can I ever forget. Does this mean that I will be bitter forever?
I hope that I don't hold a grudge and have a "chip on my shoulder". I want to be in a relationship where I can trust them and be happy. I know it will be hard.
This reminds me of my favorite artist, Adele's song "Take It All":
Didn't I give it all, tried my best. Gave you everything I had, everything and no less. Didn't I do it right, to let you down. Maybe you got too used to having me around. Still how can you walk away from all my tears. It's going to be an empty road without you right here. But go on and take it, take it all with you. Don't look back at this crumbling fool. Just take it all with my love.
I think that forgiveness is subjective. It depends on who you are forgiving and what you are forgiving them for. I know that when I was in my "on again, off again", unhealthy relationship that I tested my friendships. I put my friends in a position that they had to accept my ex because I did, even when they didn't want to. And they could have chosen to not be my friend, but they didn't. I know they forgave me and we are still great friends. And I love them for that! But I don't think I am going to forgive my ex, and if I ever do, I will be the only one who will know because he doesn't need to know. It will be something I will keep to myself......
Part of making such a big change in my life, some may say that it is letting go of the past and leaving it behind. I don't want to lose my sense of self and who I am, but hopefully I will improve myself.
Which brings up the topic of forgiveness. See, like most single girls, I have been hurt or wronged by an ex. I hope that its true that you have to have "loved and lost" to really truely love someone else. And they say that you must forgive and forget to move on and not be bitter. I feel that I am bitter and wounded by broken trust in a relationship. I don't want to always be bitter and wounded, so does this mean that I must forgive my ex to move on?
It's not like its a friend who forgot your birthday, or a sister that gave you tough love. These relationships are easy to forgive and forget and continue to be friends. And with family your love is unconditional. I don't think twice about forgiving my Sister, Mom or Dad, because I already have before they even do anything. But when you have a certain level of intimacy with the opposite sex and you put your trust in him, when that trust is broken, I find it difficult to forgive.
So what is the definition of forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean forgetting? Or moving on with your life. Does it mean accepting it for what it is? And then what? Because I don't want this person back in my life. We can no longer be friends. I am not accepting what he did wrong when he broke that trust. Therefore, I don't think I can forgive him nor, can I ever forget. Does this mean that I will be bitter forever?
I hope that I don't hold a grudge and have a "chip on my shoulder". I want to be in a relationship where I can trust them and be happy. I know it will be hard.
This reminds me of my favorite artist, Adele's song "Take It All":
Didn't I give it all, tried my best. Gave you everything I had, everything and no less. Didn't I do it right, to let you down. Maybe you got too used to having me around. Still how can you walk away from all my tears. It's going to be an empty road without you right here. But go on and take it, take it all with you. Don't look back at this crumbling fool. Just take it all with my love.
I think that forgiveness is subjective. It depends on who you are forgiving and what you are forgiving them for. I know that when I was in my "on again, off again", unhealthy relationship that I tested my friendships. I put my friends in a position that they had to accept my ex because I did, even when they didn't want to. And they could have chosen to not be my friend, but they didn't. I know they forgave me and we are still great friends. And I love them for that! But I don't think I am going to forgive my ex, and if I ever do, I will be the only one who will know because he doesn't need to know. It will be something I will keep to myself......
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